It was March in Seattle, and I’d just had all four wisdom teeth removed while listening to Megadeth. I was lying in bed – – healing and reading Tom Wolfe’s “Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test” – – when I got a text from a fellow singer/songwriter (we’ll call him Drew), asking if I’d like to join him for a road trip to Austin, Texas. We would leave in a few days. After arriving we’d stay with a traveling musician named DB Rouse who lived and worked on a horse ranch just outside of the city. DB had set up a makeshift recording studio in a shack on the property and had invited Drew to come down and record some songs.
My need for adventure greatly outweighed my need for rest, so I agreed to tag along.
I’m honestly just an awkward noodle that spends way too much time watching anime, 3d modeling, and making music. I feel that the arts are the best way for me to fully show myself to the world since words often fail me.
I have yet to come across any profession that is as rewarding, fulfilling, and promising as well as depressing & anxiety-inducing as being a musician. It’s peaks & valleys to it, but there’s more beauty in it than most people will ever know.
In the aftermath of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and the end of a long-term relationship, I was on a manic tear and writing songs at lightning speed. At the time, my late-night escapades included a lot of flings and raging substance use — this was the only way I knew how to manage my symptoms at the time. I wasn’t exactly treating my bipolar disorder with traditional medicine or therapy.
It’s that simple. Your thoughts make you. So to improve, your thoughts must change. But when did thoughts get there? Your way of thinking is established as a child. Think of it as a computer being programmed. Most children’s introduction to social situations is introduced through children’s programming like cartoons. Kids are usually happy because they see life as a cartoon, where fun is the priority of life. As they get older, thoughts get corrupted.
Life is complicated. It’s filled with ups, downs, ins, outs, widths, lengths, and any dimension that you can think of. We are in a world of over 8 billion people. Each person with their own unique mind and chemical make up. If that’s not complex, I don’t know what is. That means billions of personalities and trillion of possibilities. Yet, as different as we are, we are also very similar.