I started playing with bands in 1997, and all I cared about was playing live, seeing people see and hear me. I wasn’t concerned with whether they liked it or hated it, so long as they felt something. Here we are, 20-something years later, and not much has changed for me, but the rest of the world is a different animal entirely.
I remember the bullying. I remember them hurting me, but also me hurting myself. Have you ever had a period in your life where you feel like you just don’t belong anywhere? That’s the feeling I’ve been having all my life. Although it’s obviously not a very nice feeling, it’s led me to think in a big way & do great things, like a few of my biggest achievements: writing my own songs & releasing my first single.
Satyr Syndicate Records is my project to re-record and master much of the music I have written. On the website, I play the part of Hermes, the messenger god. Hermes gives updates on how the excavations are going. Sometimes, there is drama with the bands. For example, there was a socialist funk band, called Smashpattern, who only put out a single EP, and then tragically disappeared into the jungles fighting for liberation. Satyr Syndicate is the group of satyrs who write, record and perform the songs. They represent various moods or genres. There is also the imagery of excavation and of Hades. Since I am re-recording, I am excavating stuff that was done long ago, like an archeological dig. Hades represents the other-world or sub-conscious, from which the music comes. Gravedigging in reverse.
I’d rather retreat into a world of sound that I made up than have to deal with the world as it’s given to me. Maybe then I can come up with a clever idea to change it. Music has always been sort of an escape for me, and sometimes I choose to isolate myself from those who love me the most so that I can just play. Solitude is great, but don’t get solitude confused with loneliness. I look at solitude as being good company to yourself and loneliness as being double un good company to yourself.