Life is complicated. It’s filled with ups, downs, ins, outs, widths, lengths, and any dimension that you can think of. We are in a world of over 8 billion people. Each person with their own unique mind and chemical make up. If that’s not complex, I don’t know what is. That means billions of personalities and trillion of possibilities. Yet, as different as we are, we are also very similar.
Listen to the album while reading the text.
We all share the same types of feelings, emotions and personality traits. They come in different measures and combinations. We could be compassionate or indifferent. We could also be passionate yet full of depression. Many are afraid of commitment, while some people build bonds with each other. These bonds can last a lifetime or come to a miserable end. Some like the Buddha concluded that life is suffering.
What do you think? Personally, my view angled toward the negative side. I’m the type that expects the worst and hopes for the best. When the worst happens, I feel like life is unfair, When the best that I hope arrives, I disqualify it and convince myself that I don’t deserve it.
On top of this, I’ve always felt that people were fake. This was due to my cynical nature. I always doubted others of their good intentions. To me, people would always act for their self-interest but blanket it with a fake compassionate smile. Nothing was real to me. When I discovered something that seemed real, I would wait around for the disappointment to arrive. This view led me to see everything as overrated and pointless. It appeared like people were trying too hard to be nice and unique. I would ask myself, “Is there anything that is genuinely good?” “Does anyone really care?” “Is everyone complicit to this volunteered attitude of shallowness?”
I noticed that many people were followers and had no individual critical thought. They would just repeat what they heard. People would be so predictable. I could guess their next move and their shallow response to almost any question. It seemed like the media and entertainment had programed viewers to consult with them, to train them on how to develop their own thoughts, and how to feel about current events. People would overlook significant things and pay attention to superficial details. I felt lost.
The only way to express my sentiments is through a combination of sounds, beats, melodies, and lyrics. It’s as simple as 12 notes that can be combined in countless ways to produce an outcome we call music. It is the megaphone of my soul. I need to express why I hate myself and sometimes like myself. It is my only venting tool.