As I was born by the Baltic Sea, (and this is way before I found out that I am a Cancerian), I had always been intrigued by her beauty. As if she’s a rose made of sequins one minute and then a shape-shifting platform of liquid frequencies the next…
Listen to the song while reading the text.
When I moved to Bournemouth in 2012… I started writing it. Originally I wanted to write about a vision I had when I was going to hypnotherapy sessions back in Thailand initially to ‘get rid’ of ‘Yui’. But as we all know… that backfired!
In the vision, I was wearing a long floaty white dress (I am still trying to work out what the dress and its color symbolize… perhaps purity?). I was walking down the beach by the water. And I remember taking my sandals off to feel the sand beneath my feet… From this vision, I then wanted to create something from it. So there I am again at the beach in my long white floaty dress…
I come across a beautiful cone shell… And I look inside it but then… I get sucked into its very own universe… and I go on a spiritual journey… finding out things about myself that I never knew before. And thus when I came out back on to the beach… I had become more ‘awakened.’
I then started writing ‘Restless Mind’ and began performing it in 2014… and thanks to a friend the Anohni (Anthony) and The Johnsons influence played a big part in how I sang it…
Fast forward to 2016… after rewriting it a few times, I wanted to make the song shorter. It was initially 6-7 minutes long!!! So before I determinedly met Dave Griffiths and Mark Patrick at an open mic in Weymouth and recorded it at Mark’s ex-music store and Centre ‘Freestyle’ I was able to shorten it to just above 5 minutes.
I had no idea how to release singles etc. back in 2016 but after Charlie of Unwelcome Human and made a beautiful video of it with me… we attempted to get people to watch it at Freestyle. It hardly got any attention in my opinion so from that day I was determined to try again ASAP!!!
Fast forward to today… Sorry (not sorry) for repeating how lucky I feel that I am now signed to indie label XYYX Records… they’re really getting ‘Restless Mind’ out there as we speak!! And even though a fight happened between 2 boys over Jenifer and me last night…
The single release gig (as well as getting people’s attention to watch the darn video) was a lot more successful than 2 years ago. So what now? My good friend Lenny (a very established artist across the puddle), XYYX and I will keep pushing it as hard as we can because we are trying to get the message out there that anxiety, as well as other mental health issues, should NOT be frowned upon!!
I had my first severe anxiety attack last year… couldn’t talk… and if I wanted to say something I had to write it on paper… I was shaking the whole time! (This was when I had gone to Bristol and had forgotten my anti-depressants at home for a week!!! So glad I don’t depend on them anymore!) Maybe the anxiety attack symbolizes that shell I saw on the beach?
Anyhow, enough rambling…
“Restless Mind” is now up on YouTube, it’s got THE review and support it deserves (although the more, the better) and its now up on major online stores…
“Black Mist” is the third single from the upcoming Ethereal UK full-length release.