In the deep need to express a feeling or say a word, to come in contact with people and be heard, be accepted, to feel like I belong where I am.
Listen to the album while reading the text.
The True Crisis
The year is 2016, summer vacations, I was 17 years old and recently moved to Tijuana, a completely different city to my family and me. My brother went on vacation to our hometown, and my mother went to work all day. I went to my 4th semester in high school, but I was far from building up the trust to go out an distract myself from the isolation I was about to experience. The first weeks were easy to go by, but then I quickly realized the situation and said to myself:
“I never thought that time could do such harm when thinking is the only thing in mind.”
The only way not to go mad was to express what I felt, but having no one to talk with and being alone all day, I decided to go with music, which I used to have fun since I was 12, but finally finding a true use of it, it was relieving to make it. That’s when I came up with “Una Silla Muy Elegante” (A very fancy chair), which was a metaphor for suicide. The album made me discover the sensation of playing some chords, and at the same time feel a unique pain you, and just you know about.
The High Enjoyment
After two years, the time of the crisis was gone, and the academic field was the absolute way to keep me away from the pain that the isolation had been inflicting. But a new seed had been planted in my head:
“You have the time, the creativity and the energy to make music, so make it while you can.”
New ideas and a more open mind were the inspiration for “Dentro del Cuarto.” The majority being instrumental songs, it was clear that I had nothing to say, I just needed to make more music. With the exception of “Smashing the Hight Enjoyment,” my thoughts about marijuana use; and “Ode to Stone,” a true story of mine, specially written to fit anyone’s situation.
Understanding
Now is the summertime of 2019 and the feeling of “I have nothing to do” came back, I am old enough to have a normal job for the vacations, but after many attempts, I didn’t get one. Eventually deciding to keep the music going, I made my latest album “Understanding Photosynthesis” with a balance of vocals and instrumentals. It was the time I questioned myself the most.
“Was all of this music stuff worth it? It is a hobby, but why to compose, record, and upload? It makes no sense anymore.”
But that sensation was perfect for composing songs like “I Wish That I Could Stop Thinking This” and “Why Is So Hard To Be In Peace Tonight,” which are about all of the bad things that go through your mind in the questioning process.
The true conclusion of the story is, just do what you feel and don’t be afraid of the bad thoughts, just keep yourself busy with the tools you have to make your life a nice trip to be in.