From Debutante to Groupie

by Natalie Durkin

From Debutante to Groupie by Natalie Durkin

I’ve jumped around from thing to thing for as long as I can remember. I grew up waterskiing competitively, then gave it up to move across the country to major in theater, and pursued music journalism. All that time I was writing music and sharing it with no one aside from a few close friends. It was a hobby, a flight, a fancy; something to do on flights, car rides, or while waiting for an appointment. Writing has always been an integral part of my being and music, in my experience, is a transcendent mechanism. So I finally shared my music with more than just a few close friends.

Listen to the song while reading the text.

Bright Eyes

Bright Eyes was most likely written while sitting in math class. It’s my most autobiographical track and encapsulates my deepest loves as well as insecurities: false eyelashes, hair salon visits, groupie culture, single stem roses, love, obsession, and loneliness. Bright Eyes, in short, is a song about bittersweetness and being lonely.

I often feel like somewhat of a groupie for my friends, feverishly supporting their endeavors and lusting after being loved; just wanting to support and feel supported in return.

Your biggest fan armed with roses
No matter if I’m feeling low and
You’ll kiss me cuz I’m loud
When you leave me you’ll be proud

This verse is the most potent and emotionally transparent for me. I often feel people – myself included – are drawn to bright lights and beauty and run as soon as they see what it’s really about.

Miss Mania if you’re lucky
Saying come over here and love me
Personable on a good day
Can’t stay awake in my worst place

is an allusion to that bright light I feel and learning how to control it and use it productively. I have bipolar disorder and am just starting to learn how to cope with it. Hypomania is wonderful; I feel up, creative, just good in general. However, it can be absolutely detrimental; I have hurt many who cared about me and ruined opportunities because of it, which is what people don’t see if they don’t look beyond the bright light.

“Bright Eyes”¬†is for all of the Penny Lanes and Nancy Spungens¬†out there; the lonely ones who died from feverishly supporting those they loved. “Bright Eyes” is about loneliness and just wanting to amount to something and manifesting it by being someone’s biggest fan, armed with roses.

Bandcamp
SoundCloud
Instagram

Artist’s Note
Los Angeles County, Hudson Valley, Tivoli
bedroom rock
singer songwriter, Indie Rock, bedroom rock, bedroom pop, acoustic, Alternative Rock

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