When I wrote I REMEMBER YOU, I had been watching a friend go through a really rough time. They had been going through the kind of difficulties that challenge your identity and your ability to show up for life in a healthy way. They had pretty much shut down and tried to hide it from the world, but they were not themselves, and anyone who really knew them could see how much they were struggling.
In moments like that, you have two choices: show up and love the person where they are, and remind them who they are and that they are loved, regardless of whether they can give anything back to you, or check out and leave. I choose to show up.
I have personally struggled with PTSD in the past, and am so grateful for the friends who knew how to sit with me in the midst of the pain, without judgment, and with a reminder of who I am and that I matter to them. I wanted to be able to give my friend the gift of knowing that they are worth it, no matter what they are going through. I wanted to remind them who they are, even in the midst of the pain. I wanted to remind them that their trials weren’t their identity, the pain wasn’t their identity, and I remembered who they are, and I was here to remind them.
I wrote the song with my friend Andrew Shaver, who has also faced trials, and resonated deeply with the theme of the song. Real love stays and helps you remember through the hard times, even if you have nothing to give. And when I say real love, I don’t just mean romantic love, I mean those deep friendships, the family, the people who choose to be present even when there’s nothing for them to get out of it; because they know you, they love you, and they are willing to stand by you and cheer for you as you walk through the fire. I thank God that I have had those people in my life, and I am grateful for the honor of being able to be that person for the people I love. It’s a gift to be loved that way, and it’s a gift to love that way.
When I knew we were making a music video for I REMEMBER YOU, I wanted to be able to convey this kind of love and friendship. The kind that even carries you in prayer, and from a distance when you won’t let anyone in. We used some contrast between dark and light in the video to convey the darkness of what someone is going through, versus the light of the good times, and the good future God still has for them. We have some scenes in the video where he is struggling through the difficulty, and I am there in contrast in color, singing to him about who he is, letting him know he’s not alone. Sometimes we can be there directly for someone. Other times, we have to love them from a distance, through prayer, and through gentle encouragement.
I also really wanted the music video to convey the message that “Anyone can go through hard times that rock you to the core. Anyone can struggle with their identity in hard times. Anyone can deal with depression.” I picked an actor for the video, that by all societal standards would be someone men would look up to and women would be attracted to; a guy that looked like he had it all together. Because I want people to know and feel that emotional struggles don’t just affect people of a particular sex, or ethnicity, or size, or shape, or social status, but that anyone, even the people you would least expect to, go through deeply difficult things.
I want people to watch it and know that them going through something difficult doesn’t mean they are weak, it doesn’t reflect on their identity at all, that everyone goes through things. I also want people to watch the video and realize they aren’t alone. I want them to know that not only are there people who understand and have walked through the fire themselves, but there are also people who love them, quietly cheering them on. They are not alone.
I’m really excited to share this video with all of you! And if you need the reminder, I hope that when you see it, you know you are not alone, you are loved, and you are worth fighting for.
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